Birthday Black and Blues

Today is Kaylee’s birthday.  I can hardly believe that my baby girl is turning two already.  It seems like just yesterday we found out that we were pregnant with her.

I have very mixed feelings about her growing up.  On the one hand, I’m very very happy to be close to being done with diapers.  Since Brendan didn’t potty train until 4 and a half and Cameron until 3 and a half we have not had a single break from diapers in almost 9 years. But on the other hand, I kindof miss having a baby around the house.  Early this year we gave away a lot of Kaylee’s baby stuff to a friend of mine.  While I was happy to make the donation and help someone in need, it was very sad to get rid of the items as some of them had been in use since Brendan was a baby.

I definately don’t miss being pregnant.  Every single pregnancy (including our miscarriage) was accompanied by 8 weeks of major morning sickness.   And I’m not talking about minor nausea that a few saltines fixes; I’m talking full blown morning sickness complete with 10-20 pounds of weight loss each time.  What I do miss, and call me crazy, is giving birth.  Not the labor itself, but the excitement of not knowing which day your child will finally call their birthday, and meeting the little one for the first time.  I can vividly recall all the details of my labor and delivery of each of my children, can remember all that I thought and felt as I went through each experience, and knowing that I’ll never go through that experience again is a little sad.

It’s also fun for me to remember what life was like when each of the boys turned 2.  With Brendan we had just moved into this house.  He was just learning to walk at the time, and was so excited that he had so much room to wander around in.  With Cameron, I remember we were in the midst of running our last Wii Bowling league.  With a 6 year old, a 2 year old, and morning sickness (because I was already 3 months pregnant with Kaylee when Cam turned 2) we decided that we just couldn’t keep up with the league any longer and shut it down.  Now looking at Kaylee I wonder why in the world Matt nad I thought it would be a good idea to have another baby so soon after Cameron.  Picking up Brendan from the after school program used to be a real pain.  I had to unload both the 2 year old and the baby, attempt to get Cam to hold my hand (which most parents know at that age is impossible–“No, I do it!”), and when he inevitably would run away decide between setting down the baby carrier so I could book it after him, or carrying her with me and bouncing her all over the place as I ran.  Then finally we’d get Brendan picked up and I’d have to load the baby and the 2 year old back into the car all while listening to the 6 year old whine about having to be relegated to the back of the van.

It’s amazing how my attitude has changed as well.  Before we had Kaylee I didn’t want to have a girl.  I love my rough and tumble boys and wanted to have a house full of them.  (I’d like to point out that up to that point, I’d had Brendan who is NOTHING like your typical boy, and Cameron was only 18 months old when we started trying to get pregnant, so he hadn’t been much of a rough and tumble boy at that point yet either–so I was really talking from inexperience).  After we had the ultrasound identifying Kaylee as a girl, we went shopping for bedding and I stood in front of the display of girls bedding and cried my eyes out.  Now that I’ve had her for a couple of years though I am much more receptive to her being a girl.  Partially because Cameron has now actually become the rough and tumble boy that I always said I wanted, and partially because, despite being a tom-boy myself growing up I love to put her in frilly, sparkly dresses and make her look very girly.

Happy Birthday baby girl, mom and dad love you very much and can’t wait to celebrate many many more birthday’s with you.

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