A Return to Chaotica

I’m writing this three days in to a four day trip.  Tomorrow I return to life as usual.  I can not begin to express how wonderful this vacation has been.  I’ve gotten to spend time with people that I love very much, I’ve gotten some much needed down time from my kids, and I got to attend a couple of college hockey games while doing it.

I won’t deny it, the peace and quiet have been very nice.  When I’m at home, even when I’m sleeping in the complete silence overnight in my house, I never fall asleep 100% of the way.  One small part of my brain stays awake so that it can listen for the sounds of pattering footsteps across my house.  When I’m home and in that mode day in and day out I don’t really even notice it.  I still get a full nights sleep, so it makes no difference that I’m constantly listening.  But I know that I am listening.  My kids can attest that 99% of the time I’m fully awake before they ever reach my doorway.  I’ve startled more than one kid by talking to them when they think I’m still asleep.

Conversly, my filter has failed.  Cameron has managed to get right up next to me before without me ever knowing it.  The worst time that happened I was having a dream about snakes (which I am deathly afraid of and generally wake up from those dreams in a cold sweat), and when he brushed up against my bare foot to get the the head of my bed, I about jumped through the roof.  Unfortunately, my reaction also had the result of scaring the crap out of Cameron.  It was a while before he pattered into my room again.

No, I don’t really notice that small part until I’ve been away from home for a day or two.  The first night I didn’t really notice it.  I was so exhausted from the car ride here that I didn’t feel any more or less rested than usual on Friday morning.  But by Saturday morning there was a big difference.  It took me quite a while to fully wake up.  I felt like I was coming out of a month long coma when I woke up this morning.  For a while I just lay there with my eyes closed.  I knew I was starting to wake up, but it just felt so nice to continue to lay there and keep sleeping.  Especially knowing that no one was about to come in and interrupt my blissful slumber.

But while I’ve been enjoying my uninterrupted sleep, I’m ready for my return to chaos.  I don’t much like being out of routine and enjoyable as this is, it definately puts me out of my routine.  Matt and the kids are having a fine time at home, so it’s not like I’m worried that they can’t get along without me.

I wasn’t able to do Brendan’s last couple of reading assignments this week, and I missed that.  We read a short passage every night, track how fast and accurately he read it, and chart his progress.  Then he’s tested on that passage at school on Friday.  I only saw the beginning of the week, and he’d done very well even Monday and Tuesday.  It would have been nice to listen to him tear through it on Wednesday and Thursday night. It’s more than that though, I miss running the kids to and from school and finding out what it was they did that day.  I miss my mornings with just me and Kaylee trying to get things picked up around the house and having her tag along at my heels “helping.”  I miss finally getting the kids into bed for the night and having my first real conversation with my husband since he got home from work.

Brendan is in to a new series of books called Fablehaven.  I didn’t particularly enjoy the series at first.  It’s a little dark, and the subject matter of the books was very unfamiliar to me as I’d never read the series myself.  But Brendan insisted that he and his buddy had been reading them together at school and that his buddy had finished the entire series.  So we stuck with it and it really turned out to be an interesting book.  I still love reading through Harry Potter with him, and sharing what I know of the story as we race through the pages…but this was a new and different experience.  I was discovering the secrets of Fablehaven for the first time right along with him.  Toward the end of the book we’d spend hours each night reading together just so we could get through more of the story.  I can’t wait to get back home and find the next book in the series so we can start devouring that one.

In a day or two I’m sure there will be a post (or two or three or four) where I’m complaining again about some stupid and annoying thing one or more of my kids did.  This blog is like therapy.  It allows me to share my frustrations with other moms out there who can nod along with my commentary and say to themselves, “Oh yeah, I’ve so been there.”  Because despite my complaints I love being home with the kids more than any other job I’ve ever held.  One I’m looking forward to doing for a long time to come.


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