Mind Boggling

On Sunday, while recovering from his bout with the flu, Cameron was having some issues making it to the bathroom on time.  By the time breakfast was over we’d been through three pairs of underwear already and decided it would be best to temporarily put him into a pull up.  Just until the worst of the issue had passed anyway.  By rest time that afternoon he was back to his normal self and we were able to move him back into underwear.

I picked him up from school on Monday and started heading over to the eyeglass store because he’d bent his glasses over the weekend.  During the car ride we had a conversation which reminded me forcefully of one already recounted here in Canela Tostada Crujiente.  Here for your viewing pleasure is another look into the somewhat warped mind of my four year old.

Cameron:  I didn’t poop my pants at school today.

Me:  That’s good buddy.  I guess you’re done being sick then.

Cameron:  (pause) How did I poop when I was in your belly?

Me:  (pause….crap, what do I tell him?  Do I really want to get into the inner workings of how a baby grows?  Is he really going to understand phrases like placenta and umbillical cord?  Probably not…think of something simpler…)  You didn’t.

Cameron:  But I had to have pooped mom.  (pause)  I KNOW!  The doctor took me out really quick so I could do it.

Me:  (slightly amused) So did he put you back in when you were done?

Cameron:  No!  And I don’t ever want you to eat me again and put me back into your belly.

Thankfully about that time was when we pulled into the parking lot of the eyeglass store.  I’m not sure I would have survived much more of that conversation.  Obviously with his issues from the weekend his mind was on pooping, but where in the world did the rest of that come from?  Why suddenly would he be asking me about when he was in my tummy?

Brendan asked some questions about when I was pregnant with him around this age as well, but at least that made some sense to me, I was pregnant with Cameron at the time.  Before you ask, NO, I am not pregnant again.  (thanks for that horrifying thought–I’ve had ENOUGH of morning sickness to last me 17 lifetimes)  We haven’t talked about me, or anyone else, being pregnant in a long time, and none of my close friends are currently pregnant.  So why would he bring that up?

I must admit though, his solution to the problem of pooping while in the womb was quite ingenious.  He needed to poop, and evidently there was no solution in his present state so of course the doctor would come in and rescue him.  I’ll admit at 2, 4, and 9 we haven’t been very open and up front about how babies are made or born yet.  I’ve gotten recommendations that we should just give them the full truth as soon as they started asking questions but a) that’s just gross and I am not talking to my kids about that yet, and b) if I were going to give them the full story I’d have to provide them the clinical terms (such as placenta) and they’re going to just tune me out anyway.

For now we’ve settled on a very simplistic explination for them.  The baby chooses when to start growing in my tummy.  The doctor helps the baby get out of my tummy.  The end.  The only other piece we have explained to Brendan was morning sickness.  There was really no getting around that.  A few months before we got pregnant with Cameron we had a miscarriage.  It was early enough into the pregnancy that we hadn’t talked to Brendan about it so he had no idea.  When we found out we were pregnant with Cameron we decided again to wait and tell Brendan until much later in my pregnancy (just in case).

Unfortunately my morning sickness was so bad with Cameron that 4 year old Brendan couldn’t help but notice.  He was unable to understand why, if I just threw up, I would still be going to work that day.  When he threw up I made him stay home from school.  He also couldn’t understand why, after throwing up for two weeks straight, I wasn’t going to the doctor to get better.  If he was sick more than a day or two we’d be at the pediatrician.  It finally got to the point where my poor baby boy was afraid that I was really sick and it started stressing him out.  So we broke down and told him what was going on even though I wasn’t very far along.  Lucky for us, things worked out.

Cameron, being only two when Kaylee was born (and much younger than that when I went through my bout of morning sickness with her) never really asked any questions.  I’m fairly certain he was completely oblivious to the entire situation.  He does know that babies grow in mommies tummy’s.  We’ve talked about that a few times over the past few years, mainly when Brendan wants to know something or other about when he was a baby.  Still, that doesn’t explain why his mind would go to there when discussing his recent bathroom issues.

The other distrubing piece would be the part about eating him to get him back into my belly.  That was completely mind boggling.  I mean, I know we were vague and all about how the baby starts growing in my tummy, but we’ve never even implied that I eat the baby to get them there.  I’m actually a little freaked out by that thought.  But he was quite certain that he could get back into my tummy right now if I just ate him.  Something tells me he hasn’t worked out the physics of this considering the size of my mouth and the size of his head.  (I’ll admit to having a big mouth…but not THAT big)

I was quite amused by the fact that after I recounted the tale to Matt that night, he went to tease Cameron a little and Cameron vehemently denied ever saying any such thing.  Could it be possible that when the part of his brain that thinks these things up goes into a free fall like this, that the rest of his brain is completely unaware?

There’s an interesting thought.


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