Hive Mind

Okay, seriously, my kids are creeping me out.  Take dinner on Tuesday for example.  Both spaghetti and biscuits and gravy were on the agenda for the week and I couldn’t decide which to make.  I finally decided to let the kids choose and told them that the majority would win out and that we’d make the other dinner tomorrow night.

Now, with my kids you can’t just tell them to raise their hand to choose their dinner.  Because if I did that then Brendan would choose what he wanted, and Cameron would choose whatever Brendan said, and then Brendan would choose the opposite of what he’d originally chosen in order to make Cameron mad.  Then both would start to hound Kaylee about what her choice was so that she’d agree with them and they’d get their way.  Meanwhile she’d be looking at me completely confused before going to the pantry and bringing back a box of Pop Tarts saying that was what she wanted for dinner.

So instead I wrote down the options and then called them over to point at which one they wanted.  I made sure no one said anything and no other kids could see while the current one was choosing.  When I was finished, an amazing thing happened.  Something that hasn’t happened in about 6 months.  They all agreed on dinner.

It was a pod person moment to be sure.  All three kids quite clearly showed me they wanted spaghetti for dinner.  Once the results of the vote were tallied and announced everyone was happy and there were no fights whatsoever about who chose what or why.  I don’t know who these kids are, but they sure aren’t my kids.  We’ve done silent votes before for things and there have been times where they’ve still managed to find ways to pick a fight with each other over their anonymous choices. (Though truthfully anonymity is pretty thin around here with only three of them.)

Strange as them all agreeing on something is, that was nothing compared to the oddity that occurred earlier in the day.  At lunchtime Kaylee requested a turkey and cheese Lunchable and applesauce.  After about 20 minutes or so she asked for more applesauce.  Not being in the kitchen with her at the time I hollered across the house and asked how much of her lunch she’d eaten.  She called back she’d eaten everything but her crackers.  Kaylee is notorious for eating every part of the Lunchable except the crackers and it drives me batty.  Going into the kitchen I told her she had to eat at least half of the crackers if she wanted any more applesauce.

I wandered away again and left her to her crackers, fully expecting her to give up on getting any applesauce well before she’d eaten the required 4 crackers.  A few minutes later she came and found me again and said that her teeth hurt.  I was concerned at first because there should be no reason that her teeth hurt.  We just went to the dentist and she was checked out with a clean bill of health.  I asked why her teeth hurt and her response was, “because they need applesauce.  I need to be done with my crackers now.”  I went out to the table and counted.  She’d eaten 3 crackers, so I handed her one more and told her she had to eat it while I served the applesauce.  Forgetting that her teeth had ever “hurt” she gobbled down the cracker and waited eagerly for her applesauce.

I know what you’re thinking.  Okay so it was a little odd that she said her teeth hurt, but really what’s so strange about that?  Well later on, after the boys had come home from school we were in the living room and the kids were taking turns going into my bedroom to talk to daddy on the iPad.  Specifically Kaylee was talking to daddy, Brendan was finishing up his spelling homework in his bedroom, and Cameron and I were in the living room.

Cameron had just finished asking me for a snack.  I told him we’d have one after everyone got off the phone with daddy.  He went to the pantry and began asking for various things.  (marshmallows–we were out, waffles–are you kidding me?, Pop Tarts–I don’t think so)  After being turned down to so many foods he was a little frustrated and flopped into the living room chair with an annoyed sigh.  I continued on with my cross stitching and waited for Kaylee to be done with her conversation.

After a minute or two of pouting silence, Cameron says to me (in the whiniest voice you can imagine), “My teeth hurt.”  Um, excuse me?  What did you just say?  My mouth fell open and I gaped at him for a moment before spluttering, “What?”  He repeated that his teeth hurt.  Still dumbfounded I asked why his teeth hurt.  And looking at me like I’m a slow toddler he says, “because they’re hungry mommy.  They really need a snack.”

After the children all finished up their conversations with Matt and I got back on the iPad with him I told him about that story.  He laughed about it and said it was evidence that the kids were forming a hive mind and that I should run away and hide while I still could.  We both got a kick out of that image, but seriously I wonder about my kids some days.

How is it even possible that Cameron and Kaylee could both use the exact same phrase hours apart without knowing that the other had already done so.  And to use it in such a similar fashion.  Is this some sort of code word that will be used by teenagers of this generation in 10-15 years?  I suppose it’s possible.  I don’t understand half of the things that teenagers say today so incorporating the use of the phrase “my teeth hurt” doesn’t seem too far off the realm of possibility.

For now I’m going to keep a close eye on my kiddos.  Hopefully I can prevent the hive mind from completely forming before they suck me into their delusional fantasies.  Wish me luck!

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